How to Effectively Approach Your Future Spouse About a Prenup

Are you considering asking for a prenup but are worried about the effect? Follow these steps to effectively approach them about signing a prenup.

A prenup is something that a couple can benefit from. But sometimes both might not feel the same way about signing it. 

Some people hesitate on signing a prenup as they feel it limits the amount they could receive in a divorce settlement. This may be due to the bad reputation of prenups in the past. 

But there are ways of going about it. You need to effectively approach your would-be spouse about a prenup so they will be convinced of its benefits. 

Here are a few ways to help you do that easily.

  1. Start with a Positive Tone

The tone you use to present the topic to your partner is of great importance. One of the spouses will have to bring it up, then both will be required to reach a consensus and sign the contract. 

Hence, how you approach the topic and the tone you use make a lot of difference. You may want to start with the question How does a prenup work? and then move on to discuss what it entails. 

There is a chance that there might be conflict involved. This is why it is important to start the conversation in a non-confrontational way. The overall tone needs to be very positive, and you should try not to make the initial conversation seem defensive or rude.

  1. Establish Clear Communication

It is important to have the conversation about signing the prenup as early on as possible, as some people might take their time to get a clear understanding of the prenuptial agreement concept. 

Since many people might have heard negative things about how prenups work out, they might be hesitant to discuss monetary issues so early on. This is why you need to give the other spouse time to form an opinion about the idea.

It might require you to have multiple discussions with them to get them interested in what you are proposing. After they open up, you can start a negotiation about the actual agreement and its terms. Since all of this might take time, you should not wait till the last minute to have these discussions.

  1. Have a Solid Preparation

Having to discuss divorce before even getting married is surely awkward as you are having to discuss preparing for something you don’t want to think about. So this is not going to be an easy discussion. 

That is the reason many people end up not signing a prenup, even though they really need one. As you will be discussing the division of assets, the subsequent conversations might get difficult.

Your spouse may not agree with your proposals and might even get offended at some point. But not having a prenup might be too risky, so you will just have to go ahead with it. 

As you need to have a smooth negotiation to ensure an agreement that is balanced, it is imperative that you prepare for it well and have a mature approach to it.

  1. Show Them How They Can Benefit from It

You need to convince them that signing a prenup is ultimately going to benefit them as well. Most people want to hear how the prenup is going to be good for them, so you need to focus on how your spouse will be taken care of during a divorce if they sign a prenup. 

If your spouse earns less, you need to show them how they will be entitled to a share of the marital estate and how it will be defined in the prenup. This way, signing the prenup is actually providing them with more security. Point this out to them.

  1. Make Them Feel Like an Equal

The prenup will be negotiated by the lawyers of both parties, even though it might have been your suggestion. You cannot make them feel that you are dictating the terms to them. You need them to feel that they will have an equal say in all negotiations. 

Your future spouse should feel that their concerns will be addressed in the agreement. This can be better achieved if you promise them that you will be reasonable and fair throughout the process. Make sure the discussion is fair by listening to their concerns and opinions.

  1. Let Them Know That Direct Negotiation Is Not Required

Commonly, each party will be represented by an attorney, who will negotiate for them. You cannot both have the same lawyer represent both parties. This also helps you avoid the stress of discussing the more difficult issues.

Sometimes during a negotiation process, things might get tough, and you may end up saying something you don’t mean and will regret later on. 

Having lawyers do the negotiating allows you to focus on building your future relationship by staying out of the nitty-gritty discussions.

Prenup discussions require you to be totally honest and forthright. You need to convince your partner that you are completely committed to the marriage while still making them aware of all the things that can go wrong while getting a divorce. 

A renowned lawyer will be able to help you get the details worked out so you don’t miss anything and also clue you in as to how to approach your spouse in the most effective way when you need to discuss the prenup. 

Summing Up

Having to talk about getting a prenup before even getting married is super awkward for most people. The thought of divorce is intimidating for anyone before the marriage. 
You might be wondering how to effectively approach your future spouse about a prenup. Hopefully, the pointers in this article will help your approach to be a lot smoother and allow you to be a lot more confident on your wedding day. Best of luck!

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