You just pulled off what feels like the impossible. You got to the finish line of the wild race that is wedding planning, and now you can finally take a breath. Great! Here’s the thing though: You sort of feel sad now? While counter-intuitive, the post-wedding blues are actually much more common than you might think! In fact, it isn’t just linked to weddings. For example, a high percentage of Olympians report mental health struggles after the Games are over.
Look, you just spent months singularly committed to planning the perfect wedding. You got your venue, went through every little detail and even found the perfect travel rings for your honeymoon trip. This thing that you’ve been myopically dedicated to is done, and now real life is setting in. This transition can be tough, but it can also be super exciting! If you’re looking to manage those post-wedding blues, here are a few things to try.
Give Yourself Time
Look, the first thing you need to know is that post-wedding blues are very normal and perfectly okay. This is a huge transition in your life, and that’s going to come with a lot of tough and confusing feelings. This will pass, so be easy on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeling, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Take things one day at a time, look forward to the future and the melancholy will slowly go away.
Whatever you do, don’t ignore these things. Process your feelings, allow yourself to feel them and you’ll get through them much faster than ignoring them. Even if it feels like you’re the only one experiencing this (you aren’t; not by far), it’s important to take the time to actively process these feelings.
Engage with Your Spouse
You’ve still gotta stay engaged, even if engagement is over. *Ba dum tss*
Ha, no, but actually. Tell your spouse how you’re feeling. You might not be the only one feeling this way. Even if you are, it’s still important to show these things, so your spouse knows how best to support you. It’s essential right now to share these feelings and do things together. You don’t have to grab those silicone rings and hop on a plane (though you can if you like). Just intentionally doing things together can go a long way.
Keep Things Fresh
Everything is so new and exciting during the engagement period and honeymoon, so what happens after that? Not mundanity! There seems to be this tacit assumption that after the honeymoon, it becomes “real life” and a monotonous, boring existence. We think that’s ridiculous. Your marriage is just getting started, and that’s exciting! The cliché that you should “never stop dating your spouse” does hold true, as cheesy as it may sound.
Seriously, making an effort to do something exciting and new at least a couple of times a month will go a long way to fighting the idea that you just have to slip into some dull existence after the honeymoon ends.
Make Your House a Home
If you haven’t unboxed all your gifts, start there. Your home may be a bit of a whirlwind still, so take some time to unbox all your presents and start decorating your new home. Having dedicated yourself to your wedding planning for what probably feels like forever, you may be feeling some emptiness about not having something to work on. Creating a space you love can be a great project (and a way to save space and see your floors again).
If nothing else, cleaning the place is going to go a long way. Unless you’re the most responsible Type A personality out there (if so, kudos), the place is probably a bit of a mess. Having a messy home can cause a lot of people stress and anxiety. Cleaning and curating a space will help give you a sense of ownership over the space and help mentally signify the newness of the transition that you just made.
Reflect and Look Forward
Go ahead and watch that wedding video again! Reflect on everything you loved about the day. You’ll have lots of time in your life to look back on your wedding day fondly, and this is definitely one of them. However, you want to balance that reflection with excitement for the future. You married the love of your life, and you’re just starting to build something together. It’s great to look back, but temper your looking back with your excitement for the future!
Believe it or not, roughly 40% of Americans have been to therapy at some point in their lives. That’s a huge chunk of the population. Clearly, there’s something that works in it. Sure, a lot of the time, the post-wedding blues just sort of work themselves out.
However, if the post-wedding blues are starting to just feel like the all-the-time blues, it could be time to look into counseling. Whether you go by yourself or with your spouse is up to you (though marital counseling is always helpful), but having a space to talk these things out can be really helpful.
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